She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
