In America we eat man semen.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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