hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
