p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
