haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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