Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
