Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize