i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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