Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
