Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
