Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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