She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
