North Korea, Best Korea!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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