Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
