Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
