Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Text me some of your sweat
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
