And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Everyone says I win the strip club
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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