does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
