What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
