you win again, gameday.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
