MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
