Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
