Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize