My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
