just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
