everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
