i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
