Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
