im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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