I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
