Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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