I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
