I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
