I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
