I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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