I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
