Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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