if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
