He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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