You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I am available for nakedness
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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