why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
