So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
