your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I met the friendliest cop last night
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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