He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
