if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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