So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just tell him i said nine months
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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