You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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