Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
