I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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