Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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