like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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