i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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