soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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