so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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