I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
