Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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