i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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