I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
