i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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