Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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