She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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