Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize