dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My penis needs a shock collar
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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