My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
