I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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