I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize