Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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