I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We had to coat check the pizza.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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